


Argh... I’m a Pirate

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: Dinesh and Gilfoyle are pirates who mutiny and escape to Hawaii. All the character deaths are only implied so you can imagine what you want about who survived.





	Argh... I’m a Pirate

Gilfoyle watched unhappily as the rest of the crew celebrated. Everyone seemed content to poor some ales and sing some chanties, but Gilfoyle couldn’t bring himself to partake. Because what they were celebrating was the crew just barely managing to get out alive and with most of their treasure intact after Richard’s stupid decisions got them surrounded by rival pirates.

Gilfoyle sat in the corner, arms-crossed, indulging in eating one of the last remaining fresh apples on the ship. He scanned the celebrating crew members, trying to decide if there was anyone he could align with. Erlich and Jared were both far too loyal to their captain. Unfortunately, there was only one viable option.

 

 

“Dinesh,” Gilfoyle said, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the other guys. “Come look at how the stars are aligned. I think we may have to adjust our navigation.”

Dinesh seemed annoyed but he followed Gilfoyle up to the deck.

Once they were alone, Gilfoyle asked, “So. What do you think of Richard?”

Dinesh furrowed his eyebrows. “He’s a good captain.”

“Is he?” Gilfoyle asked. 

“Well, he navigated us away from Belson’s fire, that took some pretty quick thinking,” Dinesh said.

“He also navigated us directly into that fire in the first place,” Gilfoyle reminded him.

“Hm,” Dinesh said. “I guess he did.” 

“And while he was navigating, he didn’t even notice one of his foot soldiers coming on board. I had to take that guy out on my own,” Gilfoyle said. “We’re lucky they didn’t get to our gold in time.”

“That’s true,” Dinesh said. After a pause, he said, “I guess Richard kind of sucks.” 

Gilfoyle nodded. “Listen,” he said. “Richard’s been a serviceable captain, but we don’t need him anymore. He’s going to keep leading us into danger. It’s time to take him out.”

Dinesh’s eyes widened. “We can’t take him out.” Gilfoyle was about to launch into assuring Dinesh that this was worth compromising his morals, but before he could Dinesh added, “Jared and Erlich would be pissed and if we took them out too, we wouldn’t have enough manpower left to keep journeying.” 

Gilfoyle nodded and said, “That’s true. But, we don’t have to keep journeying.” Gilfoyle took a map out of his back pocket. “In a couple days we’ll be close to the Hawaiian islands. That’s when I want to strike. I’ll fight Richard and keep everyone distracted while you load the treasure into the tender, then I’ll join you and we’ll ride away. We’ll dock and split everything fifty-fifty. No more fucking arguing with Richard about how much of it we deserve.” 

“Well, I like the idea of getting half of the treasure and settling down in Hawaii,” Dinesh admitted. He bit his lip and asked, “But, is there any chance the plan could be, like… less murder-y?”

“If it makes you feel better, you can tell yourself that while you’re loading the treasure I’ll be talking to the other guys,” Gilfoyle said. “Just sitting down and having a chat. Alright?’’

“Alright,” Dinesh said, feeling both slightly terrified of Gilfoyle and very flattered that for whatever reason he’d decided that Dinesh was the crew member he definitely didn’t want to kill.

 

As they both rowed the ship’s tender away, Dinesh stared at the blood running down Gilfoyle’s shirt. 

Gilfoyle noticed Dinesh’s eyeline. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it away, then resumed rowing. 

After a moment, Dinesh smiled a little and said, “God, we’re going to be so rich without having to share this with anyone.” He let out a happy sigh as he looked at the bags of treasure covering the floor. 

Gilfoyle nodded and smiled slightly in agreement. 

Dinesh whined and said, “Rowing is so hard. Are we close.” 

Gilfoyle shook his head a little at him, but said, “Take a break. I got it.” 

Dinesh happily let go of the oars and leaned back.

“Spoiled princess,” Gilfoyle murmured as he kept rowing. 

Dinesh considered telling Gilfoyle not to call him that but decided it was a small price to pay for not having to do any of the work. 

 

They arrived at Kauai during sunrise. Gilfoyle hopped out of the tender and pulled it onto the beach. He smiled at Dinesh and said, “We did it. We’re on a beautiful island with enough money to basically retire from the pirate life forever.”

Dinesh grinned as he hopped out of the boat. He wrapped his arms around Gilfoyle and squeezed him excitedly. 

Gilfoyle looked at him with surprise. 

Dinesh dropped his arms and stepped away. He cleared his throat and said, “I was just excited about pulling it off. Great job, everyone.” He started gathering up bags of gold as he said, “Well, I guess we really never have to see each other again.” When he tried to pick up a big bag, he groaned and immediately dropped it.

Gilfoyle smiled slightly and said, “Let me help you with that.” He looked around and said, “That looks like an inn just pass the trees. Let’s head there.”

 

When they arrived at the inn, Gilfoyle spoke to the manager. He returned to Dinesh and said, “They only have one room. Obviously, that’s a nightmare after I had to spend so much time in a tiny boat with you, but I’m tired and who knows how far the next inn is.” 

“Yeah,” Dinesh said immediately. “I’m tired too. Let’s just go for it.” 

 

Gilfoyle grabbed a blanket from the bed and stretched it out on the floor. “I know you’ll need the bed, princess.”

Dinesh grumbled slightly in protest but didn’t argue since he definitely wanted the bed. He crawled under the remaining sheet and closed his eyes. “God. I’m so tired but also kind of hyped up from all that. It was by far the most exciting day of my life.”

“Me too,” Gilfoyle said with a yawn. “I’m glad you didn’t fuck it up.”

Dinesh glared at him and said, “You knew I wouldn’t fuck it up. You picked me out of everyone to partner with.”

Gilfoyle propped his head up with one elbow and looked up at Dinesh from the floor. After a pause, he said, “I guess for some strange reason I find you slightly more tolerable than other people.”

Dinesh felt a little burst of excitement. After a pause, he said, “You know. You’ve done a shit ton today. You can share the bed. There’s plenty of room.”

He picked up the blanket and spread it out over the bed before crawling underneath. “Thank you for generously sharing the bed with me, princess,” Gilfoyle told him, with a slight smirk.

“You’re not getting under my skin with that nickname,” Dinesh mumbled.

“I clearly am,” Gilfoyle said happily. 

“You realize your mockery of me includes actually serving me and giving me nice things, right?” Dinesh asked. “You can act like you’re emasculating me, but clearly you think I’m…” 

“I think you’re what?” Gilfoyle asked in a low, soft voice.

Dinesh shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “But, clearly you have some weird desire to take care of me.” 

Gilfoyle gently put a hand on Dinesh’s arm. “It doesn’t seem like you think it’s weird. It seems like you like it.” 

Dinesh’s heart started racing. He somehow felt much more nervous than he’d felt earlier when he was scrambling to load all the treasure onto the boat before Erlich came and killed him for being mutinous. “Well. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I guess I like that for some reason it seems like you want to take care of me. Even though it’s very…”

“Weird,” Gilfoyle said.

Dinesh nodded. 

They were silent for a while.

Finally, Dinesh said, “I guess I would find it less weird if I knew what it is about me that makes you put up with rowing a boat for me or giving up the bed for me…”

Gilfoyle looked into Dinesh’s eyes. Dinesh looked back nervously. Gilfoyle leaned in and lightly kissed him. “Is that less weird?” 

Dinesh swallowed. “Mmhmm. Yeah. That makes sense.” Dinesh ran a hand through Gilfoyle’s hair and then pulled him in for a longer, harder kiss. When he finally pulled away, he mumbled, “You can keep calling me princess if you want.”


End file.
